The Before

You can read all the books you want, take all the classes and watch all the videos. You can have your friends tell you stories, babysit, have younger siblings and be the best Auntie there is, but nothing prepares you for the birth of your own baby. Nothing prepares you for the emotions, the feelings, the inadequacies or loss of total control you experience when you hold your literal flesh and blood for the first time. From the moment your child opens their eyes and looks into yours, it’s a moment you never forget and it’s also a moment that terrifies you like none other. Outside of those feelings, no book, therapist, relative or friend prepares you for the moment you want to cry, feel overwhelmed or just don’t know what to do. When that moment happens and you hear the words, “ Oh, you’ll be fine! This will pass,” you immediately feel helpless and personally feel like you’re the only person to have ever felt that way. 

If you only knew…

Meet Kelsie Anderson. A young wife and mother of two beautiful babies, who like myself, experienced these feelings. Being a mother was something she loved, the unexplained feelings that came along with her new role, not so much. We discussed both of our experiences with postpartum. The dreaded, misunderstood word that haunts so many women, yet none of them share with anyone; some keep the struggle for their entire lives. We broke down what we went through and how painful it was. The situation was so painful for Kelsie that she contemplated suicide. Yes, suicide. No one talks about these things, and sometimes when they do, it’s too late. We opened up to share the journey of dealing with postpartum, diagnosed and undiagnosed, and how it affected our relationships, our everyday functioning and how we viewed what should have been the happiest time of our lives. The bravery Kelsie showed during our conversation was amazing. The bravery she has shown to push through and live for herself and her family is absolutely outstanding. 

When you have the big question asked and you have your wedding and decide the obvious next chapter involves babies, no one ever shares that your documented “happiest day of your life” can so quickly turn into confusion and pain all at the same time.

These are the things no one shares or communicates regularly because it’s such a difficult journey to navigate. If I knew then what I know now about postpartum and the different affects it has on women, I would have been better equipped. I hope our conversation helps another young mother who is anxious and afraid to realize that she’s not alone and there’s help. 

The After

Postpartum Depression is simply defined as depression after the birth of a child. Postpartum means following childbirth. So many things follow childbirth, right?  It’s time we speak freely, speak honestly and we listen to those who do with open hearts and minds. You never know when a conversation expressed could be the very conversation that someone needs to have in order to live a productive life. Kelsie brought perspective and allowed me to also share my own struggle with postpartum in order to hopefully help another young mother be the best she can be without judgement. We’re all in this together and it’s time we realize that postpartum is a very real issue with many in their own real lives.  

Thank God there is an “after” for Kelsie. I thank God there was an “after” for me. Even though I didn’t speak of my struggle specifically, I had people who were placed in my life that helped me make it. For them, I am grateful. There have been others who have suffered in silence and didn’t make it. I struggled with it for at least two or three years. The goal of our conversation was to let people know that they don’t have to suffer alone, help is always available and to let them know each person can experience this in different ways. The most important part of this conversation is that there is an AFTER, and it’s so important to hang on until you get there.